Kiss
Puke
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
