I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
