I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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