u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
