Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize