wanna go halves on a baby?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
