Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
