Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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