My brain says no but my pants say off.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize