All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
