Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
