Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
