Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
