It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
