you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
