I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
