but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Pooping to opera.
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