it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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