Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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