I'm really into asian looking animals
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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