omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
