i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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