Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
