as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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