That's intense
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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