come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
