I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wish life had little blips of pornography
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
