you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
