My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
