For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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