I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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