Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
