Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
