i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
