I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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