I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
