why didn't you poke me back
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
