My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
