pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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