New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
