just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
