I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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