...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
