my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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