so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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