Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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