you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
