therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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