Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
