Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
