do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
