Well apparently he's into motor boating.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize