I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
