Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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