You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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