In the future we'll all be gay
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Randomize
