she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize