Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
