hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
