and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
