brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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