I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
