He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
