ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
